Still on the theme of words and phrases, they’ve got some funny names here. Here are some examples:
- Fuchs Lubricants – a company I had to call today. Snigger.
- a nice lady called Ms Lush works at Cadburys. I’d like to meet her.
- I’d also like to meet Quinton Hickling. He sounds like a Somerset village.
- ‘Welcome’ – one of the people I went to Mphumalanga with a couple of weekends ago. It’s very difficult to say, with a straight face, ‘Welcome, why are you sleeping on the floor?’.
- Crosby Breakfast is a man who works at the aforementioned Fuchs. I’m tempted to apply for a job there as they seem to have a sense of humour.
Back to English, and I’ve just finished reading Possession by AS Byatt. Here’s my weighty critique: don’t bother, and if you do, keep a dictionary handy. Anyway, I learned loads of new words which I’ve been flinging about, particularly when I want to annoy an Afrikaner (which is quite often, to be honest). My favourite by far is “antimacassars”. This word is so long and profound-sounding that it really should refer to a revolutionary movement in France in the eighteenth century, or some ancient piece of armour that wards off deadly macassar slingshots. But no, it refers to those doily things that old people drape over the backs of sofas. Such little silly things. But what a gorgeous word!
So anyway I’m waiting for my opportunity to drop it. “My God! You’ve got antimacassars! And, let me see… Yes, you iron your t-shirts.’ I may be waiting some time.